As told to Jo Deahl for BBC 5 live
Hearing the words “I’m sorry Gemma, you have cervical cancer” was the scariest moment of my whole life. I was certain that I would die, and leave my then two-year-old son without a mummy. Intense radiotherapy and chemotherapy meant I managed to beat the cancer, but it left me infertile.
My infertility is something I have to live with every day for the rest of my life, and I feel like less of a 'real' woman because of it. I don’t miss having periods - I’m happy to wave goodbye to the cramps and bleeding. But sometimes, when I’m on a night out with my friends and we’re in the loos topping up our makeup, someone will say ‘I’m on my period, it’s so annoying’, and suddenly it hits me. I can’t relate to my friends, or join in with the girly talk.
Gemma-Louise Quinton
Nothing prepares you for the rollercoaster of going through the menopause at 24.
The terrible hot sweats, mood swings and anxiety that come with the menopause isn't fun. I’m constantly having to hide my sweat patches when I’m around others. I was so moody I finished things with my boyfriend at least 10 times (we’re not together anymore).
I’m 27 now and I feel like less of a woman now my body doesn’t work like it used to. Look away now if you’re squeamish as this might be TMI, but one of the side effects of the menopause is that my vagina can get very dry, which can make the thought of having sex with a new person seriously intimidating. I feel like cancer has taken my femininity away from me.
Dating is tricky. What if a future boyfriend thinks I’m not a real woman? Is my insecurity about my body off-putting?
I went on a date not too long ago with a guy I met on a night out, and I was panicking badly before setting off to meet him - would it be unfair to date someone who might one day want a family, if I can’t give that to them?
I didn’t know whether I should bring it up, or if that would make him run a mile before the starters came out. I asked him if he ever saw himself having more kids, and, to my relief, he told me he was happy with the one child he has. But he didn’t ask for a second date. Perhaps he was put off by all my baggage.
Gemma-Louise Quinton
Then again, it could also be the Hormone Replacement Therapy patch I had on.
They are thin patches you stick to your bottom or thigh that leave huge glue marks. Sometimes I think, why would anyone like the moody woman with the ugly hormone patch?
My family and friends tell me the right man will love me for me, so I try to look on the bright side of things. Two years on from my treatment, I have a nice life with my son and my dog in our lovely home.
Gemma-Louise Quinton
I travel as much as possible with my boy. I’m also raising awareness of the importance of getting smear tests. When a girl tells me she’s had one because of me, it makes me feel as though I’m doing some good with my experience by potentially helping to save somebody else’s life.
I have to admit, I’ll always be heartbroken that I can’t have any more kids in the future. But nothing scares me anymore. When you’ve beaten cancer, you feel invincible.
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