Becky Long Photography'Embrace the squish' - one woman's journey from anorexia to body positivity
To mark the start of Eating Disorders Awareness Week find out how one campaigner beat her demons
Today marks the start of Eating Disorders Awareness Week and this year it seems more relevant than ever.
Eating disorders currently affect an estimated 1.6 million people in the UK, with young women aged between 12-20 most at risk.
Figures suggest it's a growing problem, with the number of people admitted to hospital with eating disorders nearly doubling between 2011 and 2017.
Thankfully, body positive bloggers like Megan Crabbe, aka Bodyposipanda, are not showing any signs of slowing down in their efforts to make people accept themselves and their bodies as they are.
“You are here for so much more than this.”
That’s what Megan wishes she could tell her 14-year-old self. Back then, she was so gripped by anorexia she felt like losing weight was her sole purpose.
Megan had been critical of her body for as long as she can remember. She started dieting when she was 10. By 14, she had been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. Over the next two years, she was hospitalised and spent a summer in a psychiatric unit.
“By 16, I had managed to claw my way out of that, but the mental issues were still there.” Megan, now 24, works as a carer for her disabled sister.
@bodyposipanda_
“I managed to gain weight, but I developed a binge eating disorder. I was in this new, chubby body, and I hated it. So the dieting picked up again, and it became this constant cycle of dieting and binge eating.”
At 21, in what Megan describes as a 'lightbulb moment', she discovered the body positivity, or 'bopo' community: a movement that rejects the idea that you have to look a certain way to be happy. Calorie counting and self-loathing are out; loving and accepting yourself are in.
“I stumbled across an account belonging to this plus-sized woman, Melissa. She was bigger than me – and she was loving herself. I had never realised such a concept was possible.”
Megan set up her own Instagram account to help her deal with her body image issues.
“The first bopo picture I posted was a bikini picture from a couple of years before. When the picture was taken back then, I felt disgusted at how I looked. But finding the picture again, post bo-po, all I saw was a beautiful girl smiling in the sun. I posted it to show how distorted our ideas about our own bodies can be.
@bodyposipanda_
Fast-forward two years, and Megan has become a celebrated voice in the body positivity community, with over half-a-million followers on Instagram.
“I get hundreds of messages a day that are so lovely and supportive,” she says.
“A lot of people tell me that they thought they were the only one to become chubby after being anorexic, and felt like such a failure. It’s exactly what I used to think – and I’m so glad I can help break that cycle.”
Megan’s favourite messages are the ones “telling me things like, ‘I used to be a troll and fat-shame people, but because of you I realised what an idiot I was being, and stopped.’"
Megan still gets trolled herself. “It hurt at first,” she says. “But now it’s just a daily chore of cleaning through them. Because the problem isn’t me - it’s them.”
It has taken time for Megan to learn to love herself.
“It’s a whole new mindset. It feels as if I spent all those years brainwashed, and I’ve come out of it an entirely different person. I almost can’t remember how it felt to hate my body that much. Because now it’s just like – why would I?”
Body positivity is a growing movement, with thousands of ‘bopo’ accounts on social media, and entire marketing campaigns from brands like Dove or Sport England championing the message. It’s an antidote to the parade of perfectly posed pictures and flawless celebrity bodies we’re constantly bombarded with.
Megan’s friend, presenter and vlogger Grace Victory, says: "Megan is the epitome of what body positivity means. She is brave and courageous in fighting society’s ideals. She encourages and inspires me to break down my own barriers, as well as everyone else's. I adore her.”
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness: 20% of those seriously affected die. Fast and effective treatment is crucial.
According to Beat, three in 10 sufferers are not getting the treatment they need. More awareness is needed from GPs as well as friends and family members to spot the tell-tale signs.
Megan believes that “media portrayals of eating disorders contribute to people thinking they have to look skeletal for it to be serious. That leaves thousands of people who are still overweight feeling like they don’t deserve help, and we need to change that.”
The message of body positivity isn’t just for those suffering from eating disorders – it’s for all of us.
“I hope I can be a positive role model, because no one is teaching young people that they are great just the way they are.”
As she put it in one of her joyful Instagram posts, “Rejoice in the roll! Celebrate the cellulite! Embrace the squish! Let's show the world that we are wonderful and worthy, in all of our shapes.”
Information and support on eating disorders and body image issues is available here.
Read more:
